Oh boy, nothing makes me happier to hear somebody say, “I can’t do it”.
Sure, there’s a percentage of people who actually won’t be able to do “it” because of their skill level or how difficult the task is, but another big percentage of those people actually mean I won’t stick with it. These groups don’t need to be mutually exclusive and in fact, we have all been in both boats.
When you say that you “can’t” do something but actually have the skills and abilities to perform the task you are sending a mixed message to your brain. Typically the message is either fear or instant gratification based. When the message is fear-based but there is no threat of real danger then this will trigger a real fight or flight response (on false pretenses) and begin the pattern of convincing your brain that perceived fear is the same as actual danger.
Saying “I can’t do it” is quite a nice way of convincing yourself that whatever it is you’re trying to do you can’t actually do because of something outside of your control. It is also a nice way to completely screw up your rational way of thinking and can drastically limit you.
When people say they can’t do it, they really mean they won’t make time for it and don’t like the outcome when they try it. Let me introduce you to an important word:
RESILIENCE: The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
Those who master resilience tend to feel more in control of their lives, have healthier social support, maintain a healthy self-image/confidence, and can identify a greater sense of purpose. If you do not like the outcome, try again. If it doesn’t fill your expectations, try again. Quickly cutting yourself off because of some level of discomfort, pain, Vulnerability, boredom, or frustration severely cutting you off from opportunity and growth.
In this field, there is not a shortage of hearing excuses and fear-based rationales for why things don’t get done. Obviously, cultivating an environment of acceptance is important but at the same time, clear and “to-the-point” communication is sometimes most helpful.
Whoever is reading this, just know that you should stay away from accepting “I can’t do it” as a completely honest answer. Our minds, especially when driven by fear or instant gratification can convince us of pretty much anything.